11/11/11 - Wishing and Hoping and Believing

I can already hear the crickets as I begin to type up this entry for my blog....

I believe in angels.  Yes, like the guardian kind. I believe in life after death and in a higher power.  I believe in reincarnation and that you have to work through lessons in each life.  I, however, am not part of any organized religion.  I haven't found one that preaches the same thing I believe, so I go down my own road. 

Now...any of you are still with me? If you're not, that's okay.  This is more my fanfic site these days than social commentary, so feel free to flounce right now if I'm boring you.  (BTW - this isn't a religious speech or anything, I'm just having an off day & needed to write about it)

Now I believe that I can talk to my spirit guides/ guardian angels - now they don't really talk back to me, of course, cause then you all could call the psych ward to have me admitted. And I'd actually go willingly.

But before I go to bed, if something is bothering me or weighing me down, I just ask for them to look over me, or my husband or my kids depending on the situation.  My version of prayer really.

Like earlier this week, my husband gave me some possibly bad news about his job... this isn't the first time he's delivered such news, but it gets trying every time it comes around.

So I went to bed. And asked my angels to watch over us and to talk to my husband's angels to see if they'd watch over him & give him guidance and all that.  (Now hubs, doesn't believe, and that's okay.  We just don't talk about it.)  Anyhow, he comes home the next day a little lighter - a recruiter called him up to talk about a possible job.

Now, I'm not saying he's going to get this new job or anything, but it felt like they listened and wanted me to know they heard me.

So - bouncing back to today.  I'm a big believer in sacred numbers as well, especially if they are repeating in your life in some way, shape or form.

Today - 11/11/11 - now see... The number one all lined up in a row, to me, means - keep your thoughts and actions on the up and up because the universe is listening.  If you think you're going to fail, you probably will?  Yeah, that sort of mentality. 

So today, I wrote down a list of things I want to happen to me in the next 10 years.  Now none of these things include winning the lottery or anything like that.  No, I just really want to be happy, my family to be happy and that sort of thing.  I want to be able to afford to live comfortably, but that's really it.  I have some other dreams I'd like to come true, but I kept those mostly realistic too. 

And I've repeated them to myself a few times today, going over my list - reminding me of what I truly want in life. (And no, I don't want a little sports car or a gigantic house I won't have the time or energy to clean)

• I honestly want to be happy.  The kind that you feel all the way through you, into your soul. 
• I want to find something to be passionate about and actually do it. 
• I want to travel and see more of my family and friends who I live too far away from.
• I want my kids to be happy, healthy and to know they are loved and are safe & secure in our home.

So... (anyone still with me here?  If not, that's okay.  I'm a bit rambly and philosophical today)

I was feeling a bit down trying to figure out how in the world I was going to make myself happy.  Some things I'll leave out, for privacy reasons, but then I heard a song.

Speaking words I NEEDED to hear at that moment.  Then I heard another... and then another.

This is one of the ways I hear my angels - through song.  & they show me they're listening when I find feathers.  Not just a random feather in the woods or something, but a lot and in random places you wouldn't normally find them.  & I found two coming into work after lunch... two sitting in the vestibule you have to go through before you can get in to my building.

So - perhaps my happiness will come around, eventually.  I mean, I can't just sit on my ass hoping to become happy.  But it makes me think things will be okay knowing I have some help on my side too.

Okay - sappy blog post has not ended.  I'll resume my smutty fan fic posts later.  I even have a teaser for my Fandom Gives  Back piece.  :-)

Anyone who read all that & still doesn't think I'm certifiable, well, bravo.  Thanks a lot. & I adore you for putting up with me.

Xo Xo

Dreams He Sold Her - Teaser #4 - @Fandom4Storms

Okay - Here comes the last teaser for the week!



Teaser #4 - Barcelona, Spain

If you're interested - here's the summary of the fic that I'll be writing for the Fandom4Storms:

She waited with baited breath for each postcard she would receive.  Each month it would come from a different exotic locale.  Each time she would hope that it would bring her news that he was headed back to her and to all of the dreams that he sold her.

Teaser #3 - Shanghai, China

 

Teaser #2 - Hong Kong

Teaser #1 - Dubai

And my fantastic banner made by Beautiful Liar

 

Please donate to the @Fandom4Storms and help all those devastated by the horrible weather that whipped through the Southern part of our country in late April.  This story will be part of that compilation and not posted to my profile until well into the summer months.

Thanks... until teaser #5

M.

Dreams He Sold Her - Teaser #3 for @Fandom4Storms

Okay- this week the new teaser postcard is:

SHANGHAI!!

If you're interested - here's the summary of the fic that I'll be writing for the Fandom4Storms:

She waited with baited breath for each postcard she would receive.  Each month it would come from a different exotic locale.  Each time she would hope that it would bring her news that he was headed back to her and to all of the dreams that he sold her.

Teaser #2 - Hong Kong

Teaser #1 - Dubai

And my fantastic banner made by Beautiful Liar

 

Please donate to the @Fandom4Storms and help all those devastated by the horrible weather that whipped through the Southern part of our country in late April.  This story will be part of that compilation and not posted to my profile until well into the summer months.

Thanks... until teaser #4

M.

Dreams He Sold Her - Teaser #2 for @fandom4storms

Okay - Teaser #2 will be a postcard from....

Hong Kong -

(I think @sleepyvalentina will be my postcard muse from now on. LOL)

Teaser #1 was Dubai 

And my beautiful banner made by Beautiful Liar

If you're interested - here's the summary of the fic that I'll be writing for the Fandom4Storms:

She waited with baited breath for each post card she would receive.  Each month it would come from a different locale.  Each time she would hope that it would bring her news that he was headed back to her and to all of the dreams that he sold her.

Please donate to the @Fandom4Storms and help all those devastated by the horrible weather that whipped through the Southern part of our country last week.  This story will be part of that compilation and not posted to my profile until well into the summer months.

Thanks... until teaser #3

M.

Dreams He Sold Her - Teaser #1 for @Fandom4Storms

So as I write my new O/S fic - Dreams He Sold Her - I'll be teasing with the postcards that will be chapter headers of sorts.  So here we go!

If you're curious, here's the summary of the fic: 

She waited with baited breath for each post card she would receive.  Each month it would come from a different locale.  Each time she would hope that it would bring her news that he was headed back to her and to all of the dreams that he sold her.

So - POSTCARD #1 is from...

DUBAI! (Thanks @SleepyValentina for the suggestion)

So stay tuned to see where the next postcard will be from.

And if you're interested, donate to the @Fandom4Storms to help out those effected by the severe weather last week.  This story will be part of the compilation and not be posted to my profile until August if you don't get it there first.

And here is the banner that I received for the story from Beautiful Liar

Total Glutton for Punishment

You'd think that with everything I have going on (outside of my RL) that my plate would be incredibly full. 

1. I'm working on a collab w/ Katie Cav that is due I think May 6th and we're not quite half way done I think...
2. I need to work on my Fandom4SAA outtake of TRIBE - a future HEA due in early June
3. I decided to work with BusyMommy on a new segment on Twific Reviews called Prose for Pondering that's every Tuesday.
4. I already review a segment called Red Eyes and Royalty on Twific Reviews every other Friday

And YET... that just seems to not be enough for me. Oh no, I had to go ahead and sign up for the Fandom4Storms to do a whole new One Shot titled

Dreams He Sold Her

See, I picked this here beautiful banner up at the TwificPics Garage Sale from Beautiful Liar and knew I needed to write something for it.

And late last night as I was snuggling into my covers the idea popped into my head.  So now I just need to find the time to write it before May 31st.  

Heres the summary in case any of you are interested.

She waited with baited breath for each post card she would receive.  Each month it would come from a different locale.  Each time she would hope that it would bring her news that he was headed back to her and to all of the dreams that he sold her.

It'll be available in the Fandom4Storms pack of stories when they come out sometime in June I believe.

I also have this full length fic I've had in mind for a while now but am not sure if I am willing to committ the kind of time and dedication it takes to write consitantly in order for that to happen. Maybe this summer?

Now some of you will think, so what MCGT, that's not a big deal. There are authors that update their fics once a week and find time to do all sorts of other magical fandom things. Yeah, well I'm not one of those darn people. Believe me, I wish I was, but alas I have a family and 2 small kids who suck up all the time I have when I'm home - my free time is EXTREMELY limited, mostly because I'm closeted, so I can only work on stuff when hubsters is not around wondering what the hell has me so captivated at the computer for so long. Crazy, but not willing to expose this little double life I have nor am I willing to let it suck me in so completely that I'm going to lose my husband over it either.

So there you have it... I am a complete and utter glutton for punishment.

New O/S

So I am very very close to finally finishing my first truly angsty piece of fan fiction.  It's being written for the A Love Like Fire contest.

Now the subject matter is something very close to my heart - Infertility.  Having gone through it, I decided to take to heart that old adage - write what you know.   So this fic is my take on that struggle.  My story did not turn out the way the story's does and I take it to an extreme, not unrealistically but more extreme than I would have ever taken it in my real life.   So for anyone who may stumble across this and I'm sure I'll post it on my blog at some point - please note that if you are or have dealt with infertility no matter how severe, I've been there.   It sucks and I hope that you find my story did the topic justice.   I will put a warning at the top, just in case you are sensitive to the subject matter - but I believe that it feels true and not completely over the top.

So if you see my story while you're checking out the other stories for the contest, give mine a whirl.  I hope to have it posted by the end of the week.
Thanks!

Some pics for a O/S I"m working on.

I'm thinking about writing a fic and it's going to be dealing with the hot burning fiery kind of love that over the years cools to an ambivalence almost hatred of one another because of how far you've drifted from one another and who you originally started out being.
So - I went pic diving & came up with some pics that got the juices flowing.

An ode to Charlie

Some Billy Burke P0rn to try and get my juices flowing for the Charlie Contest.

Can't forget the 'stache!

Inspiration has struck

Like a bolt of lightning out of the sky, inspiration struck just as I put my head to pillow.

I was thinking about the plot (aka smut) of my St. Patty's themed story which progressed to me thinking about a couple doing it in the back alley of a club while a nameless bouncer stood in the shadows and watched.

THIS is my inspiration.  So I'm thinking about doing an Emmett based story in that he's the narrator of the story and spins the wild and sexy tales of behind the scenes of this popular night club.  Each chapter can be a different night's tale of sexy exploits.  This will give me lots of options for pairings as well as types of risque themes that in my past stories I didn't want to 'sully' my wholesome characters with.  Yes?  Following me so far?

So once I finish up my St. Patty's fic, I'll be moving on to Behind the Velvet Rope - the Emmett Chronicles
YES!  I"m very excited.  So excited in fact that I literally jumped out of bed to write my idea down.


So that's it so far.  Can't wait to start fleshing out the info & all the rest of the goodies!!