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Dreams I Sold Her
By: Mcgt
Rating: MA/NC-17
Beta: TwilightMomofTwo
Banner made by: Christag_Banners
Summary: After two weeks of bliss with Bella, Edward regrets the lies he told her. Postcards from around the world shed light on his true feelings. Can he deliver on all the dreams he sold her?
Partial EPOV of Dreams He Sold Her – you don’t need to read that story to understand this one, but it will give you the whole picture. Click on the tab above to read Dreams He Sold Her. Thanks!
Dreams I Sold Her
Postcard: Image of four men on camels walking in sand with iconic Burj Al Arab in background
Postmarked: January 13, 2010 Dubai, UAE
Dearest Bella,
I have no words to describe how much I miss you. The two weeks we spent hiding out over the holidays were some of the best I’ve ever had. I wish you were here with me among the bustling city of Dubai. My work has been taxing, but that’s not unusual as you know. Unfortunately, I’m also a wreck without you. I now know what it feels like to miss someone so tremendously that my heart feels as if it no longer belongs to me. I don’t know when I will be back in town to see you. Just know that I can’t wait to fulfill my promise to have you experience the world with me. To travel to London for New Year’s or Sydney at sunrise, I don’t care where we go as long as I get to share it with you. Hope to come back to you soon.
Love, Edward
Slipping the postcard to the front desk clerk, I walked out of the hotel on my way to my next meeting with a small boutique in the center of Dubai. After catching a taxi, I allowed my mind to drift to where it seemed to have taken up residence since I left New York. Bella. It had barely been a week, yet I was longing to be back in her tiny little apartment, talking and making love, well into the night. Some of my fondest memories were of us lying together post-coital and telling her tales of my past adventures around the world. But I still had one major regret, one thing that weighed on my mind every single night as I lay in bed alone. I couldn’t believe I’d left without telling her the truth.
That you’re a commitment-phobe cad who was only looking to get her in the sack?
Yeah, I didn’t think that would go over so well.
But she was so innocent. So pure. Sitting at the bar, nursing her dirty martini when I walked in. My mind drifted back to the night we met, the night when my only intention was to get into her bed.
I remembered seeing the pretty, but plain brunette sitting at the bar, sipping on her drink all the while waiting for her friend. She looked so lost, so lonely. But at the time all I saw was easy pickings, and she was.
Once she’d gotten over her initial trepidation over someone talking to her, she opened up and let me waltz right in. I was so used to playing the part, I told her I worked for the government on a top secret project. From the look on her face, I was sure she was going to throw a drink in my face. Instead, she asked me intelligent questions about where my job took me. Luckily because of my actual work, I was able to regale her in tales of my global jaunts.
Little did I know she would be the one who would cast the spell. She was the witchy one who forced me to rethink my life.
After going back to her apartment, I couldn’t believe someone could live in such a tiny cramped space, yet it was cozy, warm and full of life. She didn’t have much, but what she did have seemed to radiate her optimistic attitude. She was shy, but spoke her mind, and I found I liked it.
A lot
But the guilt of my transgression weighed heavily on my mind, not only because I felt a lot like Barney Stinson, but because I’d truly come to care for Bella.
My usual routine when I was away from home was to find a beautiful woman, woo her into bed and split the next day. I fully realized this was a shitty thing to do, but after my ex Heidi stabbed my lovesick heart with one of her stiletto boots, I turned into a new man. No more girlfriends for me. I was more the love’em and leave’em kind of guy now.
Until a particularly fetching brunette waltzed right in and took over the place, I thought, wondering how I’d gotten into this predicament.
I mean, I understood that I’d lied to Bella from the very beginning, and once that ball had been thrown down the lane, it was hard to change its trajectory, but I was still ashamed I’d never had the cajones to tell her everything. Shit, she deserved it. She basically told me she loved me before I left, and what did I give her in return? Nada. Zilch.
I needed to figure out a plan, because after our two weeks of her completely changing my outlook on love and relationships, I didn’t want to lose her.
I needed the ray of hope and sunshine she spread into my cynical and pessimistic view of life.
~~00~~
Postcard Image: Double Decker Bus crossing the Thames River with the historic Big Ben in the background
Postmark: January 23, 2010 London, UK
Dearest Bella,
I’m now in London, a brief stop before I have to head to Asia for much of February. I’d love to see your beautiful expressions if you could be here, walking the misty streets with me. Exploring the city and drinking pints at the pub around the corner. I wish that I could hear your calming voice as I drift off to sleep at night, but I must confess that the reason I haven’t called in so long is that my mobile was stolen from me when I was in Heathrow airport. I had hoped perhaps I’d just misplaced it, but no such luck. My boss has told me I needed to wait a few days to get a new one, something about incompatibility and security. Know that I miss you with every breath I take. Sorry, almost started quoting the Police there. I hope to be back in New York soon. Be safe.
Love, Edward
I’d only just arrived back in my apartment when I realized my mobile phone was nowhere to be found. After a mad search through my luggage, and a distressed call to the phone company, I had to admit the possibility that it’d been stolen somewhere between the plane and my flat. After listening to Alice chew my ass out for losing ‘yet another phone’, she told me I’d have to wait a few days to get another one since she and her assistant weren’t in the office to dig up the necessary information.
Shit, I don’t have Bella’s number.
After jotting down a quick postcard, I dropped it in the mail, hoping like hell she wouldn’t be too upset about me being incommunicado. Thankful for once, I had put an address in my actual address book instead of just leaving in my phone’s contacts.
I missed her so much I ached. But with my business meetings and late night dinners, I hadn’t had much time to talk with her on the phone. Only a few spare short conversations where we both whispered how much we missed one another, but something would always come up for one, or both of us. The timing just never seemed to be there.
Walking back up to my apartment, I opened the door and was reminded of how solitary of a life I was living.
The place was stuffy from being closed up since before Christmas, a fine layer of dust sat on my countertop, waiting for me to wipe it away. There was a stack of mail sitting on the counter I’d brought in earlier that needed opening and a refrigerator I had to stock for the next couple of days before departing again.
Instead of doing any of those things, I sat in my favorite chair overlooking the city and thought about Bella. She was never far from my mind and I was even beginning to make mistakes in my negotiations because of how lost in thought I’d get some days, especially, as I’d come to find out, when I was particularly jetlagged. Like now. I couldn’t help but think of our first time together; it was the start of two weeks of pure sexual bliss.
Before she could protest further, I swallowed the remains of her sentence with a heated kiss. I couldn’t contain my attraction for this wide-eyed girl for a moment longer. Just to be able to make out at this point felt like an accomplishment.
Bella completely shocked me by spinning into my arms and straddling my lap, grinding herself into my suddenly very prominent erection.
I couldn’t hide my grin beneath our kiss and mumbled, “Glad to see we’re on the same page, Martini Girl.” Pulling her down on top of me, we kissed for a long time before I felt her take charge, fumbling with the buttons of my shirt.
“You sure?” I asked quietly.
“God, Edward, shut up. This is what you wanted, right?” Her boldness spurned me on, and I flipped her onto her back, whipping my shirt over my head impatiently.
Our clothes were finally off and I couldn’t believe the body she was rocking underneath all the baggy clothes she wore. Her skin was a smooth ivory, flat stomach, tiny hips and small but beautifully round and perky tits. She had a model body and didn’t even know it. Our hands and mouths began roaming over the other’s bodies; I could barely tell where she began and I ended.
“God, you’re so beautiful,” I murmured into her hair, as I rocked into her slick center. I couldn’t help the sigh of relief I exhaled when I did. Her tight body clamped around my dick and I wished to the heavens I could have stayed where I was until the end of time. She felt just that good.
Without really knowing it, I’d taken out my dick and was stroking it languidly at the images of her fucking me from that night.
Her lithe body underneath me, our rhythmic strokes moving in time together. Sucking on the sweet spot in the crook of her neck, right beneath her ear, the one I’d come to find out made her almost purr like a cat. She was so responsive, so eager to please me, I couldn’t help myself.
I relished the way her body shook when her orgasm rocked through her. Her pussy clenching down on my cock was a pleasure I hadn’t experienced in quite some time. I usually didn’t take the time to get to know a woman’s body like I did with Bella, and I wanted her to experience everything.
Her body straddled above me, riding me with wild abandon. She was so fucking beautiful.
My hand sped up, tugging in quick strokes until I finally released all the pent-up frustration I’d been carrying around.
Fuck, I was lonely.
Usually when I felt like this, I’d go out to a bar with some buddies and pick up a chick. But instead of being compelled to sleep around, I just wanted to be in New York. No, not just in New York, but with Bella.
I hadn’t felt so attached to another person in almost four years, and it was terrifying. My body was itching to get up and go down to my local pub to look for some action. My brain kept telling me that Bella would just break my heart. Hell, she probably hadn’t even waited for me to leave the country…
You talked to her just yesterday. Stop. Just stop.
After cleaning myself up and eating some dinner, I placed my IPod into my docking station, turning on my classics playlist and poured myself a little scotch. Just as I finished putting the bottle away, I heard the crooning words of Bobby Caldwell.
We’ll meet beyond the shore.
We’ll kiss just like before.
Happy, we’ll be, my love and me.
And never again, I’ll go sailing.
I leaned heavily against the countertop, stopping to just listen to the words it seemed like the fates needed me to hear.
I could do this.
I could be man enough to tell Bella the truth. I could be a boyfriend again.
I could, couldn’t I?
I just needed to see her face to face.
With a resolve I hadn’t felt in a long time, I took my drink and began to figure out my plan of attack. Because if I was going to tell her the truth, I needed to make sure I wouldn’t lose her in the process.
~~00~~
Postcard Image: The Hong Kong Convention & Exhibition Center in North Wanchai dominates this photograph of Hong Kong's Central business district under a spectacular sunset.
Postmark: February 15, 2010 Hong Kong, PRC
Dearest Bella,
Happy Valentine’s Day. I’m so sorry I wasn’t in New York to celebrate with you. Hopefully the flowers arrived well before this actual postcard did. It looks like I will be in Asia for a bit longer than I had originally planned. I’m still not sure when I’ll be back in New York, but know that I dream of holding you in my arms and not letting you go for a very, very long time when I do. Maybe next Valentine’s Day we can spend it in Paris at the top of the Eiffel Tower, or floating around the canals of Venice? Or perhaps we’ll just stay in bed, eating chocolate covered strawberries off one another. God, I miss you. I hope you are doing well and that you aren’t missing me nearly as much as I’m missing you, because if you are, then we’re both pretty miserable right now. Work sent me a new phone, but I don’t have your number anymore. I can’t write mine here because I can’t risk having it intercepted. But I forgot you have e-mail, right? Why did we not exchange addresses before I left? Please drop me a line at my private address 6Y1NS@gmail.com
Love,
Edward
Valentine’s Day.
I hadn’t celebrated this horrible holiday since I was with Heidi. I never even tried to hook up with a girl prior to the day for fear she’d expect candy and roses and shit. I was the guy who’d go out on Valentine’s Day with the specific reason of picking up the girl that didn’t have a date. It was the easiest day of the year to pick someone up, but not this year. This year, all that changed.
I was feeling sappy as shit and sent Bella a huge ass bouquet as a way of apologizing for being so distant for the last two weeks.
Alice was honestly running me ragged. I had worked for three days without my phone, trying to communicate with my clients and manufactures all through e-mail, which was a pain in the ass. When I’d finally received my phone via FedEx, Alice of course had to ask me if I’d backed up my contacts from my stolen one.
Whoops.
I was still trying to get everyone back into my phone almost two weeks later. When I’d written Bella her post card, I couldn’t believe I’d never gotten her e-mail address. What an idiot. For some reason, neither one of us brought it up, but since Hong Kong went back to the PRC, I wasn’t sure about the security of the mail, and didn’t want my phone number suddenly being watched by someone in the Chinese government. Instead I gave her my old personal e-mail address; this way if someone did hack into my account, I didn’t have any of my family or business contacts put in jeopardy. I hoped Bella would get my postcard and send me a note soon. I missed hearing her voice. She was a soothing moment among my bustling life.
But I wouldn’t be getting back to the States anytime soon. Unfortunately we were having major issues with our manufacturers in China that I needed to sort out right after my meeting with our Hong Kong distributor. I’d tried to get back to the City for a quick visit in March, but Alice gave me another few contacts in Europe that I’d need to go see first. The earliest I was going to be back would be mid-April, and that was if my adoring sister didn’t find additional trips for me to go on. It almost felt like she was punishing me for disappearing over the holidays. She assumed I’d met one of my old flames and spent my time with various ladies instead of with my family.
How wrong she was. Granted, I did ditch my family for a lady, but one much more important than any past chick I’d humped and dumped.
Shrugging off my suit jacket, I sat down at the desk in my hotel room, fingering my phone and wishing I could call Bella. Granted it was the middle of the night there, but I didn’t care. I longed to hear her voice. Hell, I’d even tried calling information a while back to see if I could get Bella’s home number, but it must have been unlisted. Leaving me feeling even more depressed than if I hadn’t even tried at all.
I fell asleep, much like I did every night, dreaming of creamy alabaster skin and expressive brown eyes.
~~00~~
Postcard image: Shanghai Skyline at Sunset
Postmark: February 24, 2010 Shanghai, PRC
Dearest Bella,
As you can see from the postcard, I’m in China now. After driving for three hours over dusty, pothole riddled roads, I can honestly say I really, truly wish I was back in New York City with you. This country is an amazing place and I can only hope to share it with you someday. Work’s been hard, and with you constantly on my mind, I’ve been distracted more often than not. I miss the feel of your lips as they grazed against my neck, the feel of your nails as they raked through my hair, but most of all I miss the way you looked at me. With your huge, expressive brown eyes that always told the truth, even if you couldn’t get the words past your lips. I have been meaning to call, but it seems every time I want to it is the middle of the night for you. My internet has been spotty at best, but I’m craving to hear from you, so hopefully you’ll reply back soon. Know that with every waking moment, I wish I was there right beside you.
Love,
Edward
I was tired.
Tired of travel. Tired of sleeping in hotels. But most of all, I was tired of being away from Bella.
I was on my second week in China and it was starting to really wear on me. The long days, the endless dinner meetings, each day felt like it rolled into the next without me making any progress. The factory I was working with was way out in the sticks and I was beginning to really crave some variety in the cuisine. My hosts tried hard to make my time here entertaining, but it felt like every moment was filled from breakfast until drinks after dinner. They also kept trying to set me up with some of the ladies around the office, but I just wasn’t interested.
Bella and I had started e-mailing, which was good because of the distance and time zones, but it wasn’t the same. Granted, it was better than the three weeks I had to go without any communication with her, but what I really wanted was to fly off to New York, knock on her door, kiss the ever living hell out of her, then sit her down and tell her everything, and hopefully afterward she’d let me make love to her repeatedly.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t getting back to the States for at least a month and a half. I had to make a quick stop in London for a few days before heading out to Lisbon and then on to Barcelona to meet with some new distributors.
The very last thing in the world I wanted to do was get on another plane for fifteen hours, even if they were spent in Business class. Fifteen hours was fifteen hours. But tomorrow I was headed for London and then four days later I was off to Lisbon. Long enough to do my laundry, hopefully Skype sex with Bella, eat some good curry, and crash in my own damn bed.
Not necessarily in that order.
Packing the last of my things in my suitcase, I was happy to be going home, even if it was for such a short time.
At least I’d only be five hours ahead of Bella and we could communicate more regularly.
~~00~~
Postcard Image: Parc Guell Mosaic by Gaudi
Postmark: March 16, 2010 Barcelona, Spain
Dearest Bella,
I’m currently in Barcelona, one of my all-time favorite cities in Europe. The front of this postcard is some of the mosaic work of Gaudi. I can’t wait to take you to see his amazing cathedral, La Sagrada Familia, and Parc Guell. I find his art so interesting and unique. The city feels like it never sleeps, except for siesta time I suppose, which you need after staying up half the night eating tapas. I hope you are doing well. I think that I will be in New York soon. Hopefully late April, but I will let you know as soon as I know. You’re on my mind often, and I can’t wait to hold you in my arms again. Until then, I’ll continue to dream I’m doing just that.
Love,
Edward
After two weeks of being on the road through Portugal and Spain, I was finally home. I was lucky to have a couple of weeks in London this time, even though they were filled with meetings in our local office. I wished I had even a Thursday or Friday I could take off to fly into New York to surprise Bella, but I just couldn’t.
My sister was going to be flying in early next week to meet a few of the new buyers I was considering for her line. While she trusted me with much of these types of decisions, she liked to at least meet some of the bigger clients, saying she could get a good read on them. Her gut was usually telling her if it was a good business arrangement or not. I generally preferred doing due diligence, but we were a good team, and so far had very few deals go awry.
Looking over at my countertop, I smiled seeing the box of Pop Tarts that were still sitting there from the last time I was home. I’d become kind of addicted to them after having had so many at Bella’s place over the holidays.
Bella sleepily smiling up at me after our most recent night of passion, with her hair, a tumble of brown curls around her shoulders. She never looked lovelier than on those mornings. The rosy glow of her cheeks made her appear almost angelic.
Getting up and grabbing her robe, she got up and made us coffee and two strawberry frosted Pop Tarts. Coming back to bed, her only real seating anyhow, we would eat our breakfast under the covers, trying our best to keep the crumbs on the plate.
Those mornings spent together, just enjoying each other’s company were some of the very best I’d ever had. She was so low maintenance and simple, in the best kind of way. She didn’t have to run to the bathroom to put on her makeup, afraid I wouldn’t like her just the way she was. After so many other women, she really was a revelation, a beacon of light shining into my average and very routine life.
I sat down at my computer and pulled up the most recent e-mail from Bella. Her words were filled with a longing I knew only too well. She’d been so patient, waiting for me. Through everything, she continued to have faith that I’d come back to her. A faith that I wasn’t sure I wholly deserved. But I’d planned it out. I’d was going to invite her to the apartment I stayed in when I was in the city, make her dinner and explain everything.
About who I was, and who I’d become since meeting her.
About why I’d originally lied to her and how I was hoping to regain her trust.
After having over three months to think about it, I’d worked everything out in my mind. Now I just needed to see her beautiful face.
I had told Alice I was planning a trip back to New York in April, and perhaps mildly threatened her, should she decide to try and send me on another trip to a far off land. I needed to see Bella. I’d waited too long already to tell her the truth, and I couldn’t wait any longer.
I was just about to send Bella an e-mail with my tentative dates when my phone rang.
“Cullen.”
“Edward, its Mom. You need to get here…”
A/N
Thanks for reading this. I do urge you to read Dreams He Sold Her as well. It will give you Bella’s perspective and some more detail on how they met, etc. It’s a three-shot, short and sweet. Go read it.
