Teaser for my @fandomgivesback piece

In case you're at all curious, here's a little peek at my Fandom Gives Back piece.  It's a continuation of a little drabble fic I wrote ages ago and decided these two crazy kids deserved a little more attention.

You still have a couple of days to get your donations in to receive the compilation of wonderful stories from over 90 authors.  If you have the means, please donate to this wonderful cause.



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Summary:  Bella is shocked when Edward Masen sends her a friend request on Facebook. Ten Years after their breakup, what could he possibly want with the rising star author? Accept or Ignore the possibility of a reconciliation with her long lost love?

Internet Reconnect

Izzy Bella has one new friend request

I clicked on the link in my email to see who had recently joined the fray of Facebook users wanting to be 'friends'. I used that term loosely since now that my first novel had been published and was tracking to be a New York Times bestseller, 'friends' were coming out of the woodwork. All thinking that they had somehow contributed to my success and were secretly hidden within the pages of my fictional account of a Midwestern high school. For some reason, the definition of fiction was eluding most of them. While a few of my very close friends were loosely represented in my book, it was a made up account of what I wished high school could have been for me, instead of the horror, ridicule filled hell that I'd been subjected to for four years within the walls of Thomas Jefferson High.

The book’s premise was about a shy, bookish girl being thrust into popularity and gaining the eye of the school’s resident bad boy, and all the trials and tribulations she’d had to go through before realizing that her dream of popularity wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. The story seemed to resonate with the young adult crowd, and I was proud of the moral statement it was making as well.

When I finally looked at the e-mail I’d just opened, I almost spit my coffee out all over the screen.

Edward Masen has requested to be your friend – Confirm / Ignore

My hands shook, finger lingering over the mouse button, unsure which to choose. I'd longed to hear from my first, and so far only, love for so long that even seeing his name in the e-mail before me made my blood rush through my veins.

We'd tried to continue our relationship after high school, but the pull of new friends and experiences coupled with the distance between us crumbled the fragile love we'd only just found the last semester of high school. I'd never thought someone like him would've fallen for someone like me. I was a theater geek who always had her head in a book while he was on the periphery of being part of the popular crowd, in a rock band that people were just starting to notice. I'd followed his career from afar finding out tidbits from our last few remaining mutual friends. I'd never thought about cyber-stalking him until right now. I accepted his friendship request and immediately went to his page.

Seeing his photo avatar was almost like looking at my yearbook. The eight years since high school had treated him well, and aside from the longer hair and scruff, he pretty much looked exactly the same. I was flipping through the photos that he'd been tagged in, a slew of ones from the various shows his band had done along with various college photos of him and his buddies. Shockingly there were very few with him and other women, which surprised me for someone in a band with his rugged good looks.

Bella, are you online?

A message popped up on my screen from Facebook’s chat box. Edward was messaging me. I reeled back, almost throwing my computer off of my lap.

~~00~~

Thanks for reading & you can check the entire fic out in the Fandom Gives Back compilation.

11/11/11 - Wishing and Hoping and Believing

I can already hear the crickets as I begin to type up this entry for my blog....

I believe in angels.  Yes, like the guardian kind. I believe in life after death and in a higher power.  I believe in reincarnation and that you have to work through lessons in each life.  I, however, am not part of any organized religion.  I haven't found one that preaches the same thing I believe, so I go down my own road. 

Now...any of you are still with me? If you're not, that's okay.  This is more my fanfic site these days than social commentary, so feel free to flounce right now if I'm boring you.  (BTW - this isn't a religious speech or anything, I'm just having an off day & needed to write about it)

Now I believe that I can talk to my spirit guides/ guardian angels - now they don't really talk back to me, of course, cause then you all could call the psych ward to have me admitted. And I'd actually go willingly.

But before I go to bed, if something is bothering me or weighing me down, I just ask for them to look over me, or my husband or my kids depending on the situation.  My version of prayer really.

Like earlier this week, my husband gave me some possibly bad news about his job... this isn't the first time he's delivered such news, but it gets trying every time it comes around.

So I went to bed. And asked my angels to watch over us and to talk to my husband's angels to see if they'd watch over him & give him guidance and all that.  (Now hubs, doesn't believe, and that's okay.  We just don't talk about it.)  Anyhow, he comes home the next day a little lighter - a recruiter called him up to talk about a possible job.

Now, I'm not saying he's going to get this new job or anything, but it felt like they listened and wanted me to know they heard me.

So - bouncing back to today.  I'm a big believer in sacred numbers as well, especially if they are repeating in your life in some way, shape or form.

Today - 11/11/11 - now see... The number one all lined up in a row, to me, means - keep your thoughts and actions on the up and up because the universe is listening.  If you think you're going to fail, you probably will?  Yeah, that sort of mentality. 

So today, I wrote down a list of things I want to happen to me in the next 10 years.  Now none of these things include winning the lottery or anything like that.  No, I just really want to be happy, my family to be happy and that sort of thing.  I want to be able to afford to live comfortably, but that's really it.  I have some other dreams I'd like to come true, but I kept those mostly realistic too. 

And I've repeated them to myself a few times today, going over my list - reminding me of what I truly want in life. (And no, I don't want a little sports car or a gigantic house I won't have the time or energy to clean)

• I honestly want to be happy.  The kind that you feel all the way through you, into your soul. 
• I want to find something to be passionate about and actually do it. 
• I want to travel and see more of my family and friends who I live too far away from.
• I want my kids to be happy, healthy and to know they are loved and are safe & secure in our home.

So... (anyone still with me here?  If not, that's okay.  I'm a bit rambly and philosophical today)

I was feeling a bit down trying to figure out how in the world I was going to make myself happy.  Some things I'll leave out, for privacy reasons, but then I heard a song.

Speaking words I NEEDED to hear at that moment.  Then I heard another... and then another.

This is one of the ways I hear my angels - through song.  & they show me they're listening when I find feathers.  Not just a random feather in the woods or something, but a lot and in random places you wouldn't normally find them.  & I found two coming into work after lunch... two sitting in the vestibule you have to go through before you can get in to my building.

So - perhaps my happiness will come around, eventually.  I mean, I can't just sit on my ass hoping to become happy.  But it makes me think things will be okay knowing I have some help on my side too.

Okay - sappy blog post has not ended.  I'll resume my smutty fan fic posts later.  I even have a teaser for my Fandom Gives  Back piece.  :-)

Anyone who read all that & still doesn't think I'm certifiable, well, bravo.  Thanks a lot. & I adore you for putting up with me.

Xo Xo

Do you ever have the feeling...

You know the one I'm talking about.  The feeling like you're forgetting something really important?
Just the unsettled quease deep in the pit of your stomach.
The one in your gut that sometimes you listen too, and it helps you make pretty darn good decisions because you knew in your GUT that it was the right thing to do?

Yeah, I'm having that feeling today and I'm a bit unsure what to do with it all.

Unfortunately it's not like I'm getting on a plane or doing something major I need an answer to.  Nope, I'm just going about my day with this feeling of dread hanging over my head and I haven't a clue why.

Of course posting it to my blog is my way of remembering this so when my day turns to absolute shit, I'll know I should have heeded my own damn warning.

Anyways... when you have this kind of feeling, what do you do about it?

Last Chance to read - Symbiotic Needs - #BDB - B/V O/S

Just a heads up to any of my lovelies that wanted to read Symbiotic Needs, my take on Lover Revealed - it's a little O/S I wrote with some much needed, yet missing action between B/V.

I'm taking the story down today at 6:30PM EST - so read it if you want, but I won't be reposting it anywhere, so this will be your last chance.

Happy Birthday @Aylah50 - Symbiotic Needs

So... I sort of wrote something special just for my girl Aylah50.

I wrote a little outtake of the slashy variety of BDB.  It's going to be taken down on Monday, but if you're interested in what a little V/B action would have looked like, then check out this page.

Enjoy it while it lasts.
Once it's gone, it will be property of Aylah50's stash.

Thanks,