Now...any of you are still with me? If you're not, that's okay. This is more my fanfic site these days than social commentary, so feel free to flounce right now if I'm boring you. (BTW - this isn't a religious speech or anything, I'm just having an off day & needed to write about it)
Now I believe that I can talk to my spirit guides/ guardian angels - now they don't really talk back to me, of course, cause then you all could call the psych ward to have me admitted. And I'd actually go willingly.
But before I go to bed, if something is bothering me or weighing me down, I just ask for them to look over me, or my husband or my kids depending on the situation. My version of prayer really.
Like earlier this week, my husband gave me some possibly bad news about his job... this isn't the first time he's delivered such news, but it gets trying every time it comes around.
So I went to bed. And asked my angels to watch over us and to talk to my husband's angels to see if they'd watch over him & give him guidance and all that. (Now hubs, doesn't believe, and that's okay. We just don't talk about it.) Anyhow, he comes home the next day a little lighter - a recruiter called him up to talk about a possible job.
Now, I'm not saying he's going to get this new job or anything, but it felt like they listened and wanted me to know they heard me.
So - bouncing back to today. I'm a big believer in sacred numbers as well, especially if they are repeating in your life in some way, shape or form.
Today - 11/11/11 - now see... The number one all lined up in a row, to me, means - keep your thoughts and actions on the up and up because the universe is listening. If you think you're going to fail, you probably will? Yeah, that sort of mentality.
So today, I wrote down a list of things I want to happen to me in the next 10 years. Now none of these things include winning the lottery or anything like that. No, I just really want to be happy, my family to be happy and that sort of thing. I want to be able to afford to live comfortably, but that's really it. I have some other dreams I'd like to come true, but I kept those mostly realistic too.
And I've repeated them to myself a few times today, going over my list - reminding me of what I truly want in life. (And no, I don't want a little sports car or a gigantic house I won't have the time or energy to clean)
- I honestly want to be happy. The kind that you feel all the way through you, into your soul.
- I want to find something to be passionate about and actually do it.
- I want to travel and see more of my family and friends who I live too far away from.
- I want my kids to be happy, healthy and to know they are loved and are safe & secure in our home.
So... (anyone still with me here? If not, that's okay. I'm a bit rambly and philosophical today)
I was feeling a bit down trying to figure out how in the world I was going to make myself happy. Some things I'll leave out, for privacy reasons, but then I heard a song.
Speaking words I NEEDED to hear at that moment. Then I heard another... and then another.
This is one of the ways I hear my angels - through song. & they show me they're listening when I find feathers. Not just a random feather in the woods or something, but a lot and in random places you wouldn't normally find them. & I found two coming into work after lunch... two sitting in the vestibule you have to go through before you can get in to my building.
So - perhaps my happiness will come around, eventually. I mean, I can't just sit on my ass hoping to become happy. But it makes me think things will be okay knowing I have some help on my side too.
Okay - sappy blog post has not ended. I'll resume my smutty fan fic posts later. I even have a teaser for my Fandom Gives Back piece. :-) Anyone who read all that & still doesn't think I'm certifiable, well, bravo. Thanks a lot. & I adore you for putting up with me.
Xo Xo
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