FF.net fail and blah blah blah

So this past week's fanfiction.net failure has seemingly rocked our little fandom on its collective asses.  Everyone has been scrambling to get their updates posted with a work around (I'm sure not helping the poor developers fix whatever ails the site) and I've resorted to posting my one shots under misc books since the twilight fandom is riddled with error messages.  I hope that someday I'll be able  to correct the category its been posted in, but for now, it sits lonely under Misc. Books.

I've also found that Twitter really just eats up a lot of my time to no real use.  I check out my feed all the time now, but there's only a couple people who even respond to me, so I don't know why I care to follow everyones' business as much as I do.  It's an interesting phenomenon that I'm still not quite sure how to handle.

When I get home at night - I still have thoughts about twitter and what I may be missing.  In short, nothing, and yet my mind whirs with that question.  I'm distracted and inattentive.  And after reading 107yearoldvirgin's sad goodbye to the fandom, I realize that I may need to put some distance between myself and my addiction.  I don't want my kids or my marriage to suffer from it.  I'm not leaving.  But maybe I need to step back.  I don't think there are many that would realistically miss me anyhow, and that's not me trying to garner pity.  Just the facts - as I'm not a BNA - My full length fic doesn't even have 300 reviews - so yeah, not all that missed really.   Which makes me a bit sad, since like every author in the fandom we pour our hearts and souls into each fic we write, even if it's not that good.  
I'm speaking about me, not anyone else here. 


I wish I knew the magic formula that gets readers to leave you reviews.  Because I have not mastered it in any way, shape or form.  And it pains me.  Literally to have hundreds of hits on a story and to get two reviews out of the lot.  But alas, I can not force anyone into commenting, reviewing and the like.  I can just hold up my end of the bargain and leave reviews for the stories I read.   Because having been on the end of no feedback, I know it sucks, so I leave 'em some love.  All I can do is hope that someday Karma, that illustrious bitch that she is, will someday allow me to write something worthy of garnering people appreciation and feedback.

I'm not sure why I'm being so introspective right now, but I just am.  I do this every time I post a story and it doesn't get the response I think it will.  Why I put some preconceived notion into my silly little mind, I don't know.  But I do and I'm endlessly disappointed by my previous assumption.

See here - Ass out of U and Me.  Yeah, so I should probably stop doing that, hu?

I have three fic ideas floating around and I'm not sure if I should bother writing them.  Because while I do strive to be a better writer, I know I'll never actually be one (if you get my drift).  And I'm okay with that, truly.  I have a degree in finance and business, not writing and English.  I can write the hell out a business plan, but ask me to be creative and not just write the facts, I stumble.  So I have stumbled and fallen down and gotten back up and tried something new.  I have a few more falls in me, but these ideas I think are so worthy of someone doing them justice, and I'm not sure that person able to do it is me.

Alright - so I guess I should go see what I missed.   I'm an addict.  And for now, I'm okay with that.